I tie back my hair, secure my Garmin around my wrist, lace up my shoes, and take my first strides. I feel strong, energized, powerful, and at peace. I’m in my own world, soaking up the sunshine as I repeat the same motion over and over with my body. I’m starting to enter that state of eternal optimism commonly referred to as “runners’ high.” I turn the corner and that total bliss comes to a crashing halt when a deep voice shouts something vulgar out a car window at me. I roll my eyes, refocus, and continue running. It’s not abnormal, I’m used to it. And that’s the problem.
As a female runner I’ve been yelled to, whistled at, and harassed by men. Sometimes it’s a driver passing by. Other times it’s a pedestrian, someone sitting on a bus stop bench, or even a fellow runner. And I know I’m not alone. Female runners regularly experience actions that startle, disturb, and humiliate us. And most times it’s not spoken about until something tragic happens. There are too many stories out there of women who were stalked, assaulted, even murdered while out for a run. According to a 2021 Huffington Post article, “one in four women are subjected to regular sexual harassment when they go running, while 60% have suffered physical or verbal abuse at some point during a run.”
I’ve been taught since I was young that if I’m going to run alone, it’s important to protect myself. Taking certain precautions each time I lace up my sneakers is just part of the sport, and I learned very early on why that is. Women getting harassed by men is common in many settings, but I’ve personally experienced it more while running than anywhere else.
“Harassed” may seem like a harsh term for a man shouting out is window as he passes by. But we qualify this behavior as harassment because it is unwanted, unsolicited attention. Sometimes it’s annoying or startling, and other times it’s threatening or dangerous. Never is it desired.
Maybe they’re just complimenting you. Maybe they think you’re attractive and want to get your attention.
Who else has heard that line before as a justification for male behavior? Well, I’ll just say it… objectifying and embarrassing women is not the way to our hearts. And this may come as a surprise, but we’re not running around in a sports bra to catch your eye. Sorry to be the one to break that news to you.
When I did a quick search online for female runner harassment, my Google page filled up quickly with a mix of horror stories and advice/precautions for us to take. Things like switching up your route, not running too early in the morning, always wearing a shirt and not just a sports bra, carrying mace in your hand and a key between your knuckles, not wearing headphones, and ignoring catcalls because responding would be giving the harasser what they want.
I practice all of those things because as I mentioned earlier, that type of male behavior is normal and expected. I mean, why should I be able to run through a city without be catcalled, whistled at, yelled to, or followed? Why should I feel comfortable running in a sports bra on a 90-degree day, or repeating a favorite route every morning, or exploring new territory on my own?
What irks me is that in my Google search I found all that advice for women as if it’s our (“our” meaning women) problem that we must solve. It’s our job to take these precautions. And if we don’t and something happens to us, it’s our fault.
She shouldn’t have been running alone that early in the morning. She should know to wear a shirt running through that part of town. She should have been holding her key between her knuckles.
Well how about he shouldn’t be shouting out his window. He shouldn’t stalk a woman. He should respect a woman’s space and leave her alone while she’s running.
To all the guys reading this, I know it’s not all of you and I hate to generalize. Many, many men are polite, respectful, considerate, and would stand up to female harassment if they witness it. I’m fortunate to have men like that as my role models (thank you, Dad and Grandpa) and my fiancé. But because of my personal experiences, stories I’ve heard from friends, and tragedies I’ve seen in the news I find myself in the position of vilifying you when it comes to female runner harassment.
The bottom line is that this has been going on way too long and the long-term solution is not to add another safety precaution to our already long list. I wish there was an easy fix that I could offer but again, this isn’t an us problem. So maybe this blog post is more of a vent session, but I hope all the women reading this know that you aren’t alone and that it’s not your fault.
Girls, keep running. Guys, do better.
Yes, yes, yes!!!
Every word is perfect and true.
It’s tough to read about these experiences – I can only imagine how hard it is to live through them. You’re absolutely right that this isn’t a problem that women need to solve on their own (victim blaming much?) and men definitely need to do better, starting by calling each other out for harassment like this. Thanks for starting the conversation.
“Victim blaming.” Perfectly said, Kyle. And I appreciate you reading and empathising. I hope that with more awareness to this, and people like you who are willing to call out this behavior when you see it, the conversation continues and a shift is made.
Loved this. Good for you for calling it out!
But so sorry it’s still goes on. I’m 72 years old and believe me it’s been going on a long time. I am an avid walker and surprisingly, even at my age, I occasionally get that type of unwanted attention.
Thank goodness for men like your Dad who are the antithesis of that.
It is a terrible problem, and frustrating that there doesn’t seem to be a solution. I hope that if enough people work to bring awareness to it, we can at least minimize the instances!