Category Archives: My Eating Disorder

Lessons from Road-Tripping Part II

Last week I introduced the topic of “Lessons from Road-Tripping” by talking about how it is key in travel, life, and sometimes even running to take your time, absorb what’s around you, and enjoy the journey. If you missed that, check it out here!

Today, I’m bringing you the second lesson I learned from my time on the road: Routine isn’t always a good thing.

This one wasn’t exactly new knowledge for me. I’ve known for a long time that routines need to be broken to allow for spontaneity and flexibility not only for myself, but also for the sake of the people around me. However, it’s one of those things that is much easier said than done for a lot of us.

For a while I’ve wanted breaking free from routine without anxiety filling every ounce of me to be easy for me, but it’s a real challenge. I’m a self-labeled “Type A” personality and any of you out there who also identify as a rigidly organized, impatient, competitive person understand how difficult breaking routine can be. I’d be willing to bet that most of you reading this do identify that way.

Runners, with our competitive nature, desire to beat the clock, rigid training schedules, and pressure to be better, faster & stronger make us prone to the “Type A” way of being.

Sometimes, being a Monica Geller (I hope at least some of you gets that reference…) is a really good thing. We work hard, hold ourselves accountable, and set ourselves up for success because we know that our routine is key for that. This can put us at a huge advantage in athletics but also in life for obvious reasons. I definitely take pride in my color-coded planner, neatly made bed, regular morning workouts, etc. All of those things have helped me to meet deadlines, run fast, and feel organized. However, that need for routine can also be very limiting.

I’ll explain..

Travel has always excited me and I’ve done quite a bit of it, but not as much as I should have done by now. What I mean by that is I have had opportunities to travel that I didn’t take because I was afraid of how it would interfere with my routine. This was a major problem when I was struggling with exercise addiction and disordered eating because I couldn’t bare the thought of missing a workout or eating anything that wasn’t a “safe” food. I’ve come a long way since then, but even after the significant progress I’ve made in those areas I’ve still struggled with the idea of deviating from my routine. To be honest, I was struggling with this all the way up until we hit the road.

If I’m being honest, the planning of our adventure was a mix of fun/exciting, and anxiety-provoking. After looking at our calendars we realized that while our actual road trip would be three weeks, the weddings and family events we had sandwiching those three weeks meant that we’d be traveling for 6.5 weeks straight. Exciting? Yes, for sure. Terrifying? Yup, that too.

I had moments of complete panic when I’d think about how I wouldn’t be in my usual work space, I wouldn’t have access to the gym equipment I like to use, I’d be eating out a lot more than normal, I’d occasionally have to go a couple days without showering, I wouldn’t have time to study or read the way I like to, and our apartment would sit vacant for such a long time. All of that all scared me. At times it even made me wonder if the trip would be worth it.

Spoiler alert.. it most definitely was.

Once we hit the road, that anxiety dissipated. I was having so much fun seeing and experiencing all that we did that I rarely thought about what I left behind. It was such a blast trying new restaurants and making pb&j in the passenger seat that I didn’t care about the oatmeal I was used to having for breakfast. And I so enjoyed the back-to-back nights of tent camping that it didn’t bother me when I couldn’t shower for two days (even after a 10 mile run in the mountains). I was in awe of the scenes around me and in my happy place listening to music, podcasts, and talking to James while in the car that I didn’t care that I had gone 4 days without exercising. My routine had gone by the wayside and it was a beautiful thing. I not only survived, but I thrived.

Routine has it’s place, and since getting back home to Asheville I’ve fallen accustomed to it all over again. I like it, and I’m proud of it because it allows me to get done what I need to get done. It feels good and when I’m home, I’ll stick to it. But I now know that I don’t need it, and that breaking free from it is not only important for my health but it’s also a whole lot of fun and something I’ll make an effort to do more regularly. As I said, I’ve wanted to be a more spontaneous and adventurous person for a while but felt I couldn’t because my “type A” personality wouldn’t let me actually enjoy it. I’ve now proven that theory wrong.

That road trip challenged me, but in a way I’ll always be thankful for. While I was no stranger to travel even before this adventure, I’d almost always find ways to mimic at least parts of my routine while I was away. Being on a road trip doesn’t make that possible. And that was the best possible thing for me.

And now, as I sit here after being home for just over a week, I’m preparing to get on a flight to Colorado for another trip. This time, it’s all excitement.